


Affection

by steadyasthestars



Category: GOT7
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Hurt, Idols, M/M, No Dialogue, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 06:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15966797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steadyasthestars/pseuds/steadyasthestars
Summary: It's affection always... You're gonna see it somedayJinyoung thinks about him and his hyung's relationship.He just had to be honest.





	Affection

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based on MASC's Ace and Chibin drama from earlier this year. I obviously don't know everything that happened, but this is my creative take.

Jinyoung pressed enter on his keyboard and took a deep breath. He knew that after posting this, it would all be out. It would be over with and the world would know. Maybe they wouldn’t know all of the details, but they would assume, and maybe the assumptions would be worse than the truth, but that didn’t matter. It would be out. He didn’t know how to feel.

When this all began, Jinyoung really couldn’t say that he hated it. It started with errant little touches. A hand placed on his back here, a squeeze on his neck there. Jinyoung reveled in the attention. Jinyoung was a little boy from a small town and he never had anyone take such an attention in him. He craved his hyung’s attention, it didn’t matter if it was good or bad, he took it. He took it all.

Sometimes his hyung could be so possessive; he would pull him close to his side or grip his wrist tight when Jinyoung leaned into to one of his sunbaes too closely. He would push him into walls or leave large bruises on the side of his neck, that the makeup noonas would tsk at him for before covering them, when he had too much screen time. Jinyoung would lay in bed at night, his stomach in knots as he caressed the purple skin on his wrists. This was affection. Hyung just didn’t like to share. Jinyoung knew that he never liked to share. This was his way of showing that to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung remembered one time when he joked around too much with his co-host on Inkigayo. He had a comfortable relationship with both of the hosts and the youngest host was like a brother to him. There was a joke about the young boy making his heart flutter. Of course it was scripted and Jinyoung had said it so nonchalantly, that he didn’t actually remember uttering the words. He didn’t remember until he got home that night and his hyung hit him so hard that he had to lay down for a couple of hours before his ears stopped ringing. He didn’t remember much else about that night, but he did remember the look on the makeup noonas faces when he continuously bowed out his regret for making them work so hard to cover the bruise that spread over his left eye.

He noticed the way the others began to act around them. The way they would sigh and huff whenever his hyung grabbed his wrist. The way they would roll their eyes when his hyung would lock the door and begin to yell. He noticed the nonchalance that grew as his violence rose. At first they were worried, but they didn’t want to take sides and Jinyoung wasn’t complaining. They gave up on intervening after his hyung had slapped him in front of the other members and made him cry. And then pushed his legs up over his shoulders that very night and made him cry deliriously at the way he explored his body. They gave up on their twisted relationship, even when the maknae whined that they would end up killing each other.

His hyung wasn’t always sharp words and hard hits. He was so kind sometimes. He would look at Jinyoung and his hands would card through his hair with reverence. He held him close and pressed kisses over his eyelids. The man would speak so sweetly and call him beautiful and tell him how even the sun couldn’t compare to him. Jinyoung melted into his embrace. Sometimes they would stay up late at night and just whisper to each other. His hyung would whisper the words I think of you, or I want you too, or I’m falling for you. They would talk until his words drop off and he’d fall asleep mid-sentence. Jinyoung held onto him tightly at night and listened to him breathe and knew that for all the bad there was so much good and he prayed that there would never be a day when the bad outweighed the good.

Jinyoung wasn’t even sure what prompted the last time. He wasn’t sure of one thing that he did. His hyung was under a lot of stress, he knew that. He was starting to write and produce more and this was an important comeback for them. They would be singing an entire album full of their own work. They were finally getting to show who they were under all of the earworm songs about pretty girls and all of their ridiculous hair and clothes. They were finally real artists. Unfortunately, the album didn’t do as well as they had hoped. Their fans were reluctant to get into their softer sound and more somber approach. They wanted loud and hard hitting. They didn’t want sentimental songs about the pain they face and hopefulness that could come from it. They didn’t want fluffy and mature. Jinyoung had made the mistake of joking around, of telling his hyung how sappy his song was. Of insinuating that he had fallen in love and become boring. He didn’t expect the first blow that cracked high across his cheekbone. Nor the second, that pressed into his nose with a loud crunch, but he expected the third strike that thumped so hard against his temple that sent him sprawling against the floor. Jinyoung weakly tried to back away on the palms of his hands but he was grabbed by the front of his shirt and punched again. He cried out at the pain blooming against his face. He dropped back onto his back and his hyung repeatedly kicked at his sides and his ribs with the sides of his feet. He could feel his bones creaking as he stomped down hard and Jinyoung tried to curl up to protect himself. He begged and pleaded and apologized, but his hyung was lost, too angry in the moment to stop himself. The man picked up an ahgabong and dropped to his knees over the crying boy. He struck him in the head repeatedly with the lightstick. Pain exploded across his skull and he could feel as the plastic broke and lodged itself in his scalp. Jinyoung was lifted from the floor and he no longer fought. He had screamed for his members earlier, hoping someone would come and rescue him, but he got no response. If they were around and knew what was happening, they weren’t going to help. Jinyoung felt as he was thrown on the bed and his shorts were pulled off. He felt as his legs were swiftly pulled apart and he struggled against the hands that held onto his legs. He struggled as he felt spit and a harsh finger and he struggled more as he felt he blunt head of a cock pushing into him. He jerked and cried, choking harshly on his spit and blood as a hand repeatedly smacked him. His hand wrapped around his neck, as it had so often and pressed tightly. They had played this dangerous game before and it had been exhilarating. His hyung would hold on firmly and Jinyoung’s eyes would widen and he would stare up at the smile on his hyung’s face as his vision dimmed and he would feel his fingers and toes tingle before he would relax his grip and he was thrown over the edge. This time, his hyung wasn’t smiling and he wasn’t loosening up, he was pressing down harder and Jinyoung was choking and he was sure that he would die. Jinyoung clawed at the hands before his fingers dropped, wondering if there was even a point in fighting, whether he shouldn’t just accept it. This is what he wanted wasn’t it? This was the affection he craved. He decided that he’d only go to sleep for a second.

Jinyoung had awoken to one of the maknae crying over his body. He was disoriented and he wasn’t sure what was going on. The boy was speaking in a mix of languages and he could only catch a few words in the haze. Blood, Hyung, Killed Him. Jinyoung didn’t think that he was dead, but then again, he couldn’t be sure, not with the weightless feeling in his bones and the fact that he couldn’t feel a thing. He could hear the boy calling for their hyung. Yelling for him to take responsibility for what he did, yelling for him to join Jinyoung in the ground. Jinyoung could only peek at the ceiling though his swollen eyes and wonder if this was it for him.

Jinyoung went to the hospital and his hyung disappeared. Jinyoung got a message from his mother, about his hyung calling her in a fit, blubbering on and on about how he hadn’t meant to and how Jinyoung made him do it and how he just wanted to know how bad it was. His mother had no idea of course what the man was talking about, but when she called Jinyoung for confirmation and found out how bad he was, she immediately flew to Seoul to see him. Jinyoung waited for the same courtesy from his hyung. He waited for a phone call or a text or anything from the man. He waited and he got nothing. Jinyoung was placed on bed rest and given medicine and was told how lucky he was to even be alive, but he didn’t feel like it.

Jinyoung laid in his bed at night. His band members were scattered throughout their apartments and the once overly crowded house only held three members. He was curled around his phone. His wounds had mostly healed, only a few of the many stitches remained. He should be getting over it, but he couldn’t. He still woke up in a cold sweat, heart racing. He was afraid and lonely. God was he lonely. All he wanted was his hyung to run his hands through his hair in reverence and tell him that everything would be okay. The thought had tears streaming down his face. He was so weak. All he wanted was to talk to him, to make sure that he was okay, that he was taking care of himself. To let him know that Jinyoung wasn’t mad anymore. Jinyoung just wanted to see him. Jinyoung caved. Jinyoung was genuinely surprised when he got a response.

_Hyung, please. I need you. Please answer me. Nights are so lonely without you and I just need you here with me. I miss hearing your breathing at night. Don’t leave me like this._

_I’m sorry jinyoung-ah. Hyung had to leave. I didn’t mean to hurt you so bad. I should have better control over myself. I want to be there to hold your hand through this, but I can’t face you. I know that you will be fine without me._

That was the last thing the man sent. He didn’t answer the phone or respond to his messages. He just stopped communicating and Jinyoung didn’t think he had any choice. He needed closure. He owed it to himself to move. To get out of bed and walk around. He owed it to himself to not think about the hands that caressed and corrected him. He needed to get from under his hyung’s thumb. He deserved it.

_Hi guys. This is Jinyoung from Got7. I want to talk to my fans so much and be honest. I need to be honest. I have been on hiatus for the last couple of months and I have been reading all of your comforting messages wishing me good health and cheering me on from the side. Because of you, I have found strength. I have to be honest. Earlier this year, I was assaulted by one of my members. This hyung was someone that I thought I was close with. Someone who I thought I could trust, but he hurt me really badly. I mistaked his cruelty with affection. He attacked me and beat me until there was blood running down my face and I could barely move. He hurt me in ways that I don’t think I will ever be able to explain. I still wake up in fear after his attack. I wanted to be upfront with you guys from the beginning, but I had hoped that we would be able to settle things between us in the band. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. I have talked to the police as well as to my company. I don’t want you guys to attack anyone in the band, even hyung who hurt me so much, I just thought that I owed you an explanation. I will continue to get better and I hope to soon be able to show you a healthy Jinyoung who has a lot of things to offer. To the one that I could possibly hurt with this post, know that I am sorry, but I had no choice. Jaebum, I had to be honest._


End file.
